Dysphoria

It's Saturday night. I'm in bed with the computer. What's wrong with this picture? I wonder...

I don't really know what's wrong with me these days. I have been extremely depressed, thinking about a lot of stuff that are so damaging to my sanity. Discontentment is the root of unhappiness. I know there are a lot of things that I should be thankful for. Yet, why do I feel so inadequate? Maybe I should list down the things that I should be grateful for. Hmmm.... Let's give it a shot and see if it will make me feel better.

1. My husband. Sure, he's not perfect but I could never ask for anyone better. He's not traditionally sweet, in fact he is the most pragmatic person I know so he's never the type to send flowers out of the blue. The last time he did that was 4 years ago. Trouble is, flowers droop in a matter of hours so I don't get too excited about those anymore. He gives me a lot of stuff, though. He cooks my favorite food (then wonders out loud why I don't lose weight), holds my hand for no reason and he's such a konsentidor to my crazy ideas. No one else can take his place in my life.


2. Chin-chin. She is the cutest thing and she's also very smart. Young as she is, she already shows so much potential. She always finds ways to outwit me. I am so proud of her because she seems to love numbers. She's counting all the time and she seems so amazed by arithmetic (!). We all know I suck at math so this should be very interesting.


3. Mama. Mama always knows where to find things. She has a talent for having everything that everyone needs. She bring a humongous tote to work everyday and sometimes I get so pissed at her for constantly digging into her bag but I love her for always bringing stuff she thinks people might ask for. She's always been so selfless when it comes to us, her kids. I would never know what to do without her .


4. I have a job. Sure it's not my dream job. I mean, let's be realistic. Nobody wants to build a career in the call center. But if anything, it pays the bills. It puts food on the table. With the fiscal crisis affecting nearly everyone, I am still lucky for having a job.


5. Shoes. I am so glad I can still afford to buy a new pair every now and then. I loooove shoes! Even if none of my clothes fit well because of my ballooning weight, wearing the right shoes gives me a confidence boost.

Okay, I may not be very ecstatic right now but I have to say, writing about things I'm grateful for makes me feel lucky to be alive. Hahaha! Back to reality tomorrow...

This is me

Hi! I'm Anna and I'm not an alcoholic. Far from it, actually.

I'm 27 years old. Mommy of a vivacious 5-year old girl. Married to my college sweetheart, the love of my life.

I have recently tried to quit smoking.

I have very low tolerance for alcohol that's why drinking is not my idea of fun.

I also have a shopping problem. Just ask my husband.

Shoes. I wish I could buy a pair ever single day.

Credit cards. I wish there's one with no credit limit and no bills. Ha! Dream on.

Food. It's a love-hate relationship.

Movies. I'm a sucker for feel-good movies. I don't mind watching stuff I've seen a million times. As long as it gives me warm fuzzies, bring it on.

Music. 90s all the way.

Make-up. A girl can never have enough. Yes, I am a junkie.

Blog-a-bing

I was trying to access my space in windows live but for some weird reason, I keep getting an error message. Call Tech Support? Nah... I probably shouldn't. Let's just say that I'm not at the right place and this is not the right time to update my blog. What the hell...

Since I'm having technical issues with the other site, I decided to create a new one. Maybe I'll make this my permanent home. With all the craziness surrounding me everday, I need a space where I can let it all out.